Category: Humor

 

“I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.” – Dorothy Parker

Posted in: Humor, Writing   Author:

 

“There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.” – Clint Eastwood

Posted in: Happiness, Humor, Love   Author:

 

“Instant gratification takes too long.” – Carrie Fisher

Posted in: Humor, Intuition, Perseverance   Author:

 

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love!” – Charlie Brown

Posted in: Humor, Love, Pain   Author:

 

“What is flirtatiousness but an argument that life must go on and on and on?” – Kurt Vonnegut

Posted in: Dating, Humor, Love, Romance   Author:

 

“Coleridge was a drug addict. Poe was an alcoholic. Marlowe was killed by a man whom he was treacherously trying to stab. Pope took money to keep a woman’s name out of a satire then wrote a piece so that she could still be recognized anyhow. Chatterton killed himself. Byron was accused of incest. Do you still want to a writer – and if so, why?” – Bennett Cerf

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“Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.” – Chelsea Handler

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“I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I’d have no friends.” – Chelsea Handler

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“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.” – Chelsea Handler

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“There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.” – Chelsea Handler

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